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Searching for Godot  @psychohistorian.org

Searching for Godot

posted: 4005 days ago, on Tuesday, 2009 Jun 16 at 15:39
tags: internet, psychohistorian.org.

The psychohistorian.org server logs

As part of the reworking of psychohistorian.org after the disastrous May Hack, I analyzed the server logs for 2008 November and December.

For those of you who don't know about these things, a website is a bunch of files stored on a computer somewhere. This computer, connected to others, makes up the internet. Whenever a page from a website is asked for by another computer, that request is recorded by the host computer and the file (= page) is passed along (hence, its a server).

So, say you're looking for something or other using one of the popular search engines (like Google or Yahoo). Your search query returns a page full of links for you to mull over. Let's say you click on one of the links that points to a page on my website. That click sets up a request that is sent to my server where it is logged, and the appropriate file is then sent back to you and displayed by your browser.

Part of this logging process is to record where the click came from (the 'referrer'). If the referrer is Google or Yahoo, then the words you typed into the search engine are also recorded. Which means, I can see what someone searched for that subsequently led them to my website.

So anyway, I extracted all hits to pages on my website that came from a search engine (Google, Yahoo, etc.). For the two months that I analyzed, this yielded a list of 30,768 search terms.

It is fascinating to browse through a list of these search terms. What were all these people looking for? And how did they try to find it? Ah, the little pleasures in life.

Moving along. Visitors generally entered three key words in their search box. Specifically, the average number of words per search was 4.85 2.55. The longest search phrase, "what red star is seen to the west of venus and jupiter low on the horizon in november?", had 18 words. The graph shows the frequency distribution of the number of words.

Men are from Jupeter, others are from Veneus

A slip of the finger or a passing familiarity with English are both forgiven by the Google.

People interested in Astonomy, atronomical, astromony, astromoners find their way to my website when pondering the visability, vsbile, vissible, visable of venuse, veneus, venes, venue or juputer, jupitor, jupitar, jupeter, juipter in the sothern, southren, souther, southen hemosphere, hemishere.

This is understandable, because the apperrance, Apperance of a birght, brigth planetery, Plaentary, planat conjuntion, conjuction (i.e. when they aline) in the novenber, novemeber evning, evenine skys is surely something one would want to try photgraphing, photgraph, photoghaphing.

"crater your own person"

Naturally, a lot of hits were recorded for astronomy-related searches.

You may recall that Jupiter, Venus and the Moon had a spectacular get-together in the evening sky in November/December:

  1. "jupiter venues near the moon"
  2. "2 brightest celestial beings in southern sky Nov 26 2008"
  3. "jupiter meets with venus and the moon never to be seen again"
  4. "who else saw Jupiter Venus lined up right below the moon, tonight?"
  5. "01 December 2008 Cape times article about the the two planets and moon"
  6. "moon, jupiter and venus appears every how many years?"
  7. "A moon in the middle of two stars on 1 december 2008"
  8. "are those stars or planets near the crescent moon"
  9. "Are those two planets near the moon tonight?"
  10. "did anyone take a picture of the amazing moon the other night"
  11. "2 stars in sky on top of each other nov 29 08"
  13. "what are the two highly visible star like objects in the eastern sky at dusk in november?"
  14. "what is the name of that bright and shiny star in the southeast in december?"

The article on DIY impact craters was a great hit, served from requests like crater your own person, make your own moon rocks and make your own meteorite. Miscellaneous astronomy queries served included:

  1. "fill in the blank solar system"
  2. "what is that orange light in the southern sky"
  3. "bright spot in the southwest sky"
  4. "bright star after sunset that changes colors"
  5. "20 facts about moon"
  6. "25 facts of the moon"
  7. "the beautiful sky last night"
  8. "nearest meteor shower"
  9. "eso hotel paranal drawings"
  10. "mysterious deep sky objects"
  11. "how long does achernar star orbits the sun"
  12. "mysterious holes in the sky dec 2008"
  13. "how many planets orbit the star mimosa?"
  14. "when was the antares star discovered?"
  16. "on october 1st 2008, did the moon go west to east?"
  17. "two stars that appear to be gravitationally bound to each other but are not are called"

Of course, some people never learn:

  1. "hororscope"
  2. "the planets influence for 2009"
  3. "Moon Phases Calendar Astrology Sky"
  4. "astrology events moon planets november sothern hemisphere kenya"
  5. "moon occults venus while close to jupiter signs in the heavens"

Sweet corn

An inordinate number of people wanted to know about baking sweetcorn:

  1. "bake sweet corn and cream style sweet corn"
  2. "baked sweet corn"
  3. "baked sweetcorn recipe"
  4. "cream style sweet corn recipes"
  5. "Microwave sweetcorn souffle recipe"
  6. "recipe for baked sweet corn"

Admittedly, I do have a delightful recipe for exactly that.

Looking for YOU

A high percentage of Google searches are for porn. The following individuals have been googled for by name. These two facts may or may not be related. I may or may not charge a 5% finder's fee.

"Andrew James, annette van der berg, Anthony Ayiomamitis, auke slotegraaf, Ben Du Toit, Brandon Booth, carol botha, chris stewart, chris vermeulen, clinton armitage, COMMISSIONER LOUIS ESTERHUIZEN, dany duprez, David Block, Dr. David Bloch, duprez dany, Dylan Lewis, francois nortje, Frodo, Gavin Ivey, george ellis, Georgios Liakos, gideon retief von wielligh, Greg Roberts, hannes pieterse, hans van der merwe, joe perulero, johan kloppers, john baumgardner, Kobus Rensburg, Kobus van Rensburg, laurie Gaum, lerika, luke arnott, m.soltynski, Maciej Soltynski, Mitchell Krog, nina swart, Obama, Pat Booth, Philip van Heerden, Reinette Champanis, Rev Kobus Van Rensburg, richard ford, rick wright, steve preston, tertia meyers, tertia myers, tessa joughin, Timothy Ferriss, van heerden phillip".

"what is a mormons"

Some of us are searching for an alternate truth. We are looking for God, and what better place to start than on the internet? (Indeed, someone searched for proxy god. lol).

  1. "pray for money"
  2. "what religion does not permit you to take showers?"
  3. "churches in stilfontein"
  4. "devils bible discovery"
  5. "do people believe stars to be gods?"
  7. "Sgr A star and religion"
  8. "size of the ark" calculate"
  9. "infrared image Noah's ark"
  10. "Kobus van Rensburg, is he african"
  11. "morality of Mormonism"
  12. "pics of miracles"
  13. "shocking bibile"
  14. "shofar, the devil's church"
  15. "Southern Hemisphere in the Bible"
  16. "prophtes, phophet"
  17. "davil"
  18. "bibile"

My review article on glossolalia (speaking in tongues) continues to be very popular, with search-hits such as:

  1. "Is waleing normal when speaking in tongues"
  2. "how do i learn to speak in tongues"
  3. "you should not speak in tongues"
  4. "how do you start speaking in tongues"
  5. "blockages to speaking in tongues"
  6. "Speaking in tongues scares me"
  7. "i remember speaking in tongues"
  8. "speaking in tongue hearing peoples thoughts"
  9. "talking in toungues while your dreaming"
  10. "talking to god in my head the same speaking?"

"nake star website free"

A high percentage of Google searches are for porn. See what I just did there? That is called 'keyword loading', because by using the word 'porn' again (as in a previous paragraph), this page could skyrocket in the search-engine rankings. Did I mention porn? Some websurfers seemed to find pornsex on pornohistorian.org:

  1. "naked star website"
  2. "naked stars"
  3. "nake star website free"
  4. "index of images funny sex"
  6. "butt pics"
  7. "free naked pdf"
  8. "free nude pic downloads"
  9. "funny sex"
  10. "nina swart gay?"
  11. "how many gays wed in 2008"
  12. "homosexual astronomer"
  13. "homosexual bible to be released in 2009"

(Someone thinks Halton Arp starred in a skinflick?!)

"funnie pics"

Some info-tourists hit my website searching for a good time, a pogitive experience one might say, looking for a gallary of funnie pics to relieve their mirthless boredom. Google to the rescue:

  1. "funny pics"
  2. "really funny pics"
  3. "afrikaans funny pics"
  4. "funny and cool images and pics"
  5. "a funny image of a solar eclipse"
  6. "funny solar system pictures"
  7. "funny other solar system pictures"

Your guess is as good as mine

I'm not really sure what these folk were looking for, but I don't think they found it on psychohistorian.org:

  1. "idiot rolling around on the floor"
  2. "canil sirius black bulls"
  3. "car quick polish moon"
  4. "cutting holes in the sky art"
  5. "ferrero rocher johannesburg"
  6. "hold hungarian moon"
  7. "impaktor size Siljan"
  8. "lists of pogitive words"
  9. "martial arts pie chart"
  10. "maties password change"
  11. "mylol contact details"
  12. "nurseries shrooms"
  13. "pie graph night eating"
  14. "pillar capping pic prices"
  15. "planetart amputee"
  16. "the fastest animal in the internet image"
  17. "trippy angels picture"

nothing more to see. please move along.

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